Good Times!

What a night! Well it was the whole week, really. Lots of ups and a few significant downs, but it turned out just fine :) Last night we had an institute dance where we were supposed to dress up as a high school stereotype so... I got to be a cheerleader for a night! And it was totally fun. I borrowed Danielle's (far right) uniform and she did my makeup and put curlers in my hair and everything. Fun fun! On a more random note, the girl right next to me, Callie, and Danielle are from Lake Havasu and came to our Youth Conference in Yuma this last year! Now they live across the hall from me. Can it get more ironic?

Also, I put some blonde streaks in my bangs! Well it's on the underneath of my bangs, so you can only catch a glimpse every once in awhile. Obviously they're very faint, since you can even see them in the picture.

Continuing with the good news, I got another niece on Wednesday! Allison Mae Spencer. She's a total cutie and I think she looks just like Jason. You can go to Jamie's blog for more information. I'm sure it'll be up soon ;)

Oo! I have a really good institute moment. Something happened on Wednesday that had me pretty down. I felt like the lowest of low and just really discouraged. Naturally, I really didn't want to go to Institute, but I was like "well... it always makes me feel better and that's really where I need to be". So I went anyway. I felt like I was just kinda there and still really not in a good mood at all. One of those depression moments. They suck. Anyway, we start singing the opening hymn: "When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed, when you are discouraged thinking all is lost, count your many blessings..." I just started smiling the biggest grin and laughing. Way to be obvious, right? I still think it's so funny. Just like that i did a full 180 and started thinking about my blessings and I had a great rest of the night! It was so awesome. The next morning brought back some of those discouraging feelings, but I just kept making lists of how I had been blessed and my sadness was sent on it's way. Music is the best. Needless to say I'm that much more excited to start conducting the hymns in Sacrament Meeting this Sunday!

I had a thought while I was typing that story. Is it weird to anyone else that we use "crazy" terms for our church programs? I mean we have a "ward" and "institute".... Seems a little too coincidental if you ask me :)

Home

The other thing that's been on my mind lately is that the feeling of Home is unreplaceable. I had no idea what I was getting myself into :)

College is not bad. It's actually been quite a relief. I always imagined it would be one huge stress and that i'd be continuously running around like a chicken with it's head cut off because of all the insane homework I'd have. Maybe I just haven't gotten to that point yet and it's still to come, but I've quite enjoyed how relaxing it's been. I've grown quite comfortable in my dorm room, I have great roommates, and everyone here is generally pleasant to be aroung. I quite like it here. However...

I have learned, the hard way, that there is a certain feeling or spirtit in the home that cannot be found anywhere but the home. I was really impressed with Candice's apartment because it felt so home-y, and I wanted that in my dorm too. However, I came to find that although Candice's apartment felt home-y, it was definitely not a home. I don't know how to explain it. All I can say is that I can almost guarantee that I will never be able to match the feeling of my home, no matter where I go. I could live in the same dorm for 4 years and it still wouln't come close.

I miss my home. If there's one thing I've learned from my whole week and a half of being away it's how to appreciate. I appreciate how hard my parents work everyday. I always figured they did things so that we would learn and grow up right, but they really do it solely because they love us and they want nothing but the best for us. I appreciate the people around me that were always cheering me on and helping me when needed. I never realized how much a simple deed could impact me. But the hardest lesson I had to learn was how much I really appreciate my family. I have always loved my distant relatives so much and anticipated being sealed in Heaven together, but I can now say that I love my Mom and Dad more than anyone else. I miss them, and my sister, more than I ever expected to. I'm Stephenie Spencer; I don't need anyone's help, I can do it myself. Yeah, well... I found that I CAN do it myself, but I would so much rather not. All those dumb fights we had! I seriously can't remember what a single one was about. Because I don't want to. I only remember the things I miss about them.

My family and my home are the two things I miss the most and I thought it was about time I admitted it :) Turns out Heavenly Father really does know what he's doing ;)

I made a funny!

Ok so this morning I put on a brand new shirt that still had the tags on it and everything. I took the tag off but there was still a little sticker on it. Luckily I noticed it before I left. It's a large shirt so the sticker has a big L and little words around it saying "large". Anyway, the sticker was right on my boob! So it was like a lable for my large boobs! HAHAHA well i thought it was hilarious. I had to share :)

Friends... uhkay!

Ok. I know i totally posted like 2 days ago but i have been getting home too late at night to write in my journal so... this is a good substitute :)

Being away from home has made realize just how amazing it is to have friends. Since my family is M.I.A. i've had to turn to peers for company/comfort, and let me tell you something: they're amazing. I have met more people in the last 3 days than ever before in my life! And once you meet someone here it's like you're cool for life. That's something i really appreciate about thatcher. Plus there's not really cliques and everyone's just friends with everyone. Good again. The new friends are awesome, but the old ones have proven top of the line as well. First of all, the friends i left in Yuma have been really good about making me feel better about being alone. On my first night here, Brad, Jessica, and Zach all talked to me on speakerphone for a little while, and i thought that was so sweet! Kira's busy but she's been amazing about keeping me up to date with all the juicy stuff as well :) But most importantly, Candice Lundgreen has saved my life. When we were about 10 years old, she and I planned out our college years. We were going to NAU and living in the cabin her parents owned. We didn't talk a whole lot about it, but the day her parents sold their cabin was a sad one :( Who would've guess that she and I would end up at college together, in a completely different town, living across the street from eachother. She has been so nice to me, showing me around and introducing me to people and letting me hang out at her apartment. I picked a good best friend back in 1st grade :)

Anyway, that's what's been on my mind for the past few days. There are more good people in the world than i thought. You just have to keep your eyes peeled.

College Girl!!

What a week!! I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday saying my goodbyes to my friends, which was really hard by the way, and then we left that night for Tucson. There was a crazy rain storm that night too! It was pretty scary. But AWESOME!! Thursday we came the rest of the way up to Thatcher. Oh man it was a long day. I got my ID card, my room, got my stuff loaded in my room, and went to orientation. I was exhausted! :)

That night was kinda hard. I had spent some time with my roommates but not much. I went over to Candice Lundgreen's apartment, which is a few feet away, and hung out there for the rest of the night. When i came back it was time to go to bed. But before and after I went to Candice's, there were plenty of tears. I wanted to call my parents and ask if I could hang out with them for awhile, just so i wasn't completely out of my element. But I knew the time to grow up was now. So i stuck it out. It was hard. I knew that I could call or text the people that care about me at any time, but that was it. I was 6 hours away from them and a drive just to visit is pretty much out of the question. Hence: depression.

The good news is I have done much better today! The morning continued with the tears, but I spent time with my parents, got stuff from Walmart, got a PO box and my books and to each of my classrooms. Plus I talked to my brother and he said i could text him if I was ever lonely :) I got a laptop! So that's been very entertaining, and now i'm going to watch a movie with my roommate.

My thoughts on the matter: I have only technically been a college girl for...2 days. Therefore it wouldn't be right for me to make any judgements yet. However I can tell you how I feel. With any luck, this will be the funnest year for me so far. I only have 4 classes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and one lab on Thursday, so I don't have to worry about being overworked :) Yay for laziness! And having Candice here will do worlds of good for me. I would be totally lost without her. My deepest fear? Failing a class. Or not even failing, just not doing well. It's soooo much money and i really want a good life, for me and my family. I don't know; I'm just worried about the future i guess. So far everything's alright though. If I keep telling myself it will be good, then it will be good. "It should be so, and it will be so! Oh yeah!" (Who can tell me what DVD that's from?).

So there's my update. Everything is crack-tastic :)

Paranoia

I have a problem. It is concurrent with my soul twin :) which makes me feel a little better but... I still feel like a moron.

Let me give you an example. I text my friend Kira a question. She doesn't answer. I text her again after like 20 minutes. HELLO?! still no answer. I call her phone because at this point i'm a little ticked off so I don't care what she's doing she needs to answer me! Such a brat. She doesn't answer her phone. So i call her house. Nobody answers. She's dead. Not literally but that's the point. My automatic assumption is that she's dead! And this happens all the time! If I'm babysitting for Ericka and she is a half an hour late coming home...she's dead. I just automatically assume that she got in a car crash and i start thinking about how I'm here with her kids and the news will be so shocking to them and blah blah blah. It's horrible!

My question is: am I an emo freak? Is this habit going to affect my behavior for the rest of my life? Lol! And yes, I am fully aware of how retarded I sound. I just needed to verbalize the things that are weighing down on my brain :)